


Surveying The Wasteland

by BeastOfFormalities



Category: Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Complete, F/M, Fluff, Kissing, Ostagar, Return to Ostagar, Short
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-08
Updated: 2015-07-08
Packaged: 2018-04-08 07:54:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4296738
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BeastOfFormalities/pseuds/BeastOfFormalities
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set during the DLC Return To Ostagar. The memories are overwhelming, but at least they have each other.<br/>Slightly inspired by this song (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MMEpaVL_WsU)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Surveying The Wasteland

The flashbacks were relentless, each step I took felt like they had the weight of history dragging them down. My footsteps left trails in the snow that littered the frozen cobblestones, marking the battlements left otherwise undisturbed for what felt like years. It couldn’t have been longer than a handful of months, but so much had happened in the time since my joining, that the events that happened at Ostagar felt like a lifetime away. Snow fell from the sky like a blizzard.. well, snow or ash. Either way it turned the world a bleak grey that made it impossible to see the path ahead. I felt like I was inside a snow globe, being battered around inside a mockery of a memory. There was nothing left but fragments of the battle I had once fought in to protect Fereldan from the impending blight. The odd bit of armour, a collapsed tent, and the occasional bone lay strewn about the landscape, all covered in an off white. It was similar to being in the Fade in that everything felt like a dream, a twisted version of reality. How could I be sure that this was even real?

Alistair seemed to be having similar thoughts to mine. His eyes were clouded as he surveyed the wasteland with a pained expression, like he was trying to fit his memories of the past with the mess in front of him. I reached out to reassure him, which seemed to jolt him back to reality. He looked at me oddly; like he was surprised I was still there and hadn’t faded too along with the rest of the dream. Our companions scouted ahead for more darkspawn lurking amongst the rubble, as Alistair and I walked in silence through the snow. I appreciated them coming immensely, but they could never really understand what this place meant to those here in its darkest hour. We stopped in the clearing where my joining took place, when I tasted the taint for the first time and sealed my fate. It seemed smaller blanketed in white, less significant than I remembered. The battle had taken its toll.

“This is messing with your head just as much as it’s messing with mine, right?” Alistair inquired as he stared into the distance, brows creased. His usual cheery demeanour had been hit hard.

“I suspect so.” My words hung heavy in the air between us, our breath puffing out in clouds before our eyes. We huddled closer together before either of us realised, banded together against the cold.

“My joining feels like it happened somewhere else other than here”, my lips curled into a small smile, “This feels like nowhere, a dream. Like... We’re trespassing on somewhere lost in time.” He stared at me, watching flakes of snow melt in my knotted scarlet hair.

“You haven’t really had the real experience of being a Warden. You get all the Darkspawn and none of the good bits. I’m sorry you had to start now, of all times”, he said wistfully, his eyes full of pity and regret.

“To tell you the truth, I don’t feel like a Warden at all, not like you are.” I scanned the horizon, searching for any signs of life. “I haven’t seen the community I heard so much about, or felt like I belonged to huge movement. It’s all been a bit of a mess, nothing either of us could have ever expected. In a way it’s worse for you, I can’t miss what I’ve never had, but you must miss it every day.” When I looked back Alistair’s eyes were closed, his breathing measured. It reminded me of how much he’d lost, how he kept it together each day even after going through so much anguish. He was stronger than anyone ever gave him credit for, and I admired him endlessly for it, for remaining upbeat and cheerful on the road with the weight of his past constantly weighing down on him.

“I’m sorry I can’t share with you what being a Warden really is. I used to feel so confident that we could defeat the Blight, with all of us together I felt like we were unstoppable. When there’s only two of us left… Things can feel a little hopeless at times.” I took his hand in mine and gave it a firm squeeze. He smiled like he couldn’t help himself, despite the sad edge in his eyes, and squeezed me back just as tightly.

“It’s okay, you know. I don’t mind not being a proper Warden and not having the traditional experience. Having you with me is enough. When you’re here, even though I know there’s only the two of us, things don’t feel so dire, and I don’t feel so alone.” Surprise was written all over his face, like he never expected to be needed, to make a difference to anyone. I smiled shyly at him, not forgetting the weight of his hand in mine.

“I-I…” Alistair stammered, “T-thank you, it means a lot. To me, that is. That you like me being here.” Chuckling, I turned to face him, his cheeks burning a bright crimson against the snow. He looked down, embarrassed. “I couldn’t do this without you, you know. I don’t mean ending the Blight, but coming back here, after all that’s happened. Maker, when I first stepped in here it’s like the wound was still raw, it all just came flooding back…” He shuddered at the thought. I tugged him closer, so our breaths mingled amongst the onslaught of the blizzard.

“We do it together Alistair, just like the Blight, and whatever else Fereldan throws at us.” His expression was tender as I stared up into his deep brown eyes. My heart skipped a beat, and our proximity seemed to make him blush all the harder. He took a deep breath, as if steeling himself.

“I would very much like to kiss you, if you don’t mind…” He trailed off, unsure. I beamed, and pushed myself up onto my tiptoes so I could wrap my arms around his shoulders and press our lips together. It was sweet, tender and warm, everything the world around us was not. There was a slight desperation to it, a need for each other, to be close and finally feel safe. His hands around my waist faltered, as if he was unsure whether to pull me closer or hold me at a respectable distance. I tightened my grip on his shoulders and his resolve crumbled, he held me as if he was afraid he would lose me at any moment. We pulled apart breathing heavily, and I stroked his cheek to try and reassure him that here is where I would stay. Grinning, he pulled me back in, just as fiercely as before. He kissed like a man starved, and I was all he needed.

We heard our companions shout for us in the distance, and jumped apart sheepishly. Our flushed faces were stark against the snow, but our hands slipped comfortably together once more. We took one last look across the horizon before heading onwards back into the remains of the camp. Alistair shoved me playfully, before running off towards our friends. I went to follow him, but my foot hit something hard and metal.

The joining chalice lay underneath the snow, not yet damaged by the elements or taken by raiders. Dusting it off, I slipped it into my pack, happy to have found something special in a place of such sorrow. Running into the blizzard after Alistair, I did not look back.


End file.
